In my last post, I began speaking about understanding my core values as an artist. This journey as I recounted, took me back to my childhood and I discovered some delightful gems in the unfolding of that tale
This is where the importance of journaling comes in because through the process of writing and drawing, the memories return and I begin to unlock pictorial images which will eventually evolve into a painting or two or several......
Through unraveling the story I gained an understanding of some of the core values of who I am. The concept of I AM, without attachment to anything else is one of the most important things that can be understood. It is what delivers a hundred per cent self-worth to me. You see, during childhood, I developed many mechanisms of pleasing others in order to gain love and survival. These things then become intrinsically entwined in my understanding of who I am and what causes me to have value.
One thing that it seems the vast majority of artists suffer from is the 'I'm not good enough' syndrome.
(The above progression of drawings into a painting came from a really magical moment driving down the road to church. I looked out the rear window of our car and there, perched upon the mountain, was the moon looking so huge, an image that has stayed with me to this very day. Except that the above painting still didn't quite do it for me. After more thought and drawings I ended up with this image.)
Now to return to the core issue here.....
For example, if I disappointed my parents and love was withheld, then I extrapolated that into meaning I'm not good enough or I'm worthless or useless and then by extension of that - everything I attempted to do became tarred with the same brush.
Now if I can untangle myself from these learnt responses and connect to other things in my environment that I absorbed, I can begin to have an understanding of those things that make my heart sing.
In most children these things are what we would call simple pleasures. I remember lying on my back looking up into the deep blue sky and the fluffy clouds and experiencing such a sense of wonder at it all. To recall these experiences gives me back that sense of Wonder and Curiosity and puts me on the path to finding my mojo again.
This is one reason why it is so important to go back in order to go forwards. All children are born with this inbuilt sense of curiosity and wonder at the world in which they find themselves and unfortunately, most of us have lost this as adults. Tapping back into this magical world can be the driving wellspring for my inspiration as an artist and a rebirth of my curiosity and wonder.
Without inspiration, my creativity is dead in the water.
What gives you inspiration and joy?